Happiest of Holidays Everyone

The reporters in Foxborough
All skootered and skittered
'The Grump is no more!'
The reporters all Twittered.
Some were not sure
They seemed quite addled
They still remembered
"On to Seattle"
To the folks in the media,
A bone he had tossed,
When he found out that evening,
That Brady had lost.
Hed gone home and calmed down
He was feeling very dapper,
Cut the sleeves off a new hoody
and watched highlights of long snappers
Bill was quite lost
He needed a quick fix
So he studied Rutgers game film
From the year 1936
Then capped it all off
With some highlights of Navy
Bill said to himself
"I was being a baby"
And later that evening
With Bill snug in his bed
He woke with a start
Knowing the half back must be fed
He wrote up a game plan
The world wouldn’t believe
Quoth the falcon
Twenty-eight to three
Shanahan kept throwing.
For no fucking reason.
"I cant believe it" Bill Said.
We can still save this season.
Then two years later, The media doubted!
An 11th Super Bowl appearance?
No way! The fans shouted.
Little did they know, Despite their aging Quarterback,
Bill would pull every trick out of his hat!
Even with an offense failing to go off,
They had the benefit of going against poor Jared Goff,
3 points was all the Rams could muster,
As Bill’s defense pulverized the Rams into custard,
The game wasn’t pretty, and it certainly wasn’t clean,
Yet the Patriots won another super bowl in 2018.
But all things must end and just after the next year,
Tom Brady left for Tampa to continue his career.
As he and Bruce Arians showed they were quite a match,
Bill and his coaching staff once again started from scratch.
Bill brought in Cam Newton, but the Pats couldn't stay afloat
While Buccaneer Brady showed all why he's the GOAT.
Despite the lost season and all the fans' moans,
Bill knew what he wanted, so he drafted Mac Jones.
Things started quite shaky, the record was 2-and-4.
But things were coming together, with seven Pats wins more.
We find ourselves here again, a familiar bump in the road,
An Indianapolis offense that looked set to explode.
And then they did just that, the Colts defense got sacks,
While the Pats defense failed to stop all their running backs.
Yet despite this tough loss, a game where the Pats seemed a lil slow,
Bill had just four words to say, "We're on to Buffalo."

Brackets

Here you guys go,

https://i.imgur.com/VMzq8fM.jpg

Chefs vs. Charge

Probably should have watched this game.

Pats vs. Lolts

Didn't really go into this game with all that much optimism, and the god damn fuckin' Colts finally got their first win since 2009. Fucking twelve years ago. Fuckin losers... Well, not in week 15 though. So enjoy the win, losers.

What a fuckin frustrating game to watch. And yet, they kinda sorta had a great chance to win it at the end.

Funniest thing I seen was this photo of Sendejo,

Boys vs Gints

Giants are a fucking corpse. Is a fucking corpse? They are a fucking corpse.

Was this that dumbass fan appreciate night game? Free medium soda*!

*not per ticketholder, for account holder only

Tejans vs God Hates Jags

Jacksonville is now officially on the clock.

Tittans vs Steeeeeers

All I caught was that outrageouosly generous placement of the ball at the end of the game. It still wasn't a first down, but it was absurdly close. Dumbass refs. Blind n shit.

Jest vs. Fish

Tu'anon continues their winnin'.

Let's go Dookie Johnson.

'Zona Worst Aesthetics vs. Loins

Welp. I don't have notes for this one. But I do know the Lions actually won this fucking game. What a wild god damn day.

Yeah, so good for the Lions. Apparently, Detroit absolutely owns Arizona.

Purple Kittehs vs. Bill's

Bills won. Big.

Doesn't make me feel all that great going into the week 16 matchup between the Patriots and Bills. At least it's in New England this time.

Begals vs. Borncos

Drew Lock is so fuckin bad. Hilarious shit. He literally thrwe the ball away on fourth down. How does that happen in a professional football game?

Well. I assume it was a professional football game. Although I can't really prove that it truly waas. One can only assume based on The Seal being slapped all over that footage.

Failcons vs 69ers

Fuck the haters, Jimmy GQ. Keep winning those games.

..and Matt Ryan better Matty Ice up after that game. Much like most any other previous game, the dude needs to seriously take care of himserlf .. he just gets fucking rocked every fucking week.

Packpackpackpack vs. Crows

AFC North vs. NFC North blah blah

NO Saints vs. Tom Brady

Haha, old man Tom lost

Daaaaa Rrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrraidahs vs. Browns

This was a game.

Vikes vs. Bears

Jesus. This is the kind of shit they can hide on a normal Saturday/Sunday, but primetime? Good fuckin lord what a god damn barrel of shit.

Seachickens vs. St Louis Rams

What a game. Incredible effort out there, and it was definitely a hard-earned win. I honestly haven't seen a win like that in a long time, but they got theirs.

Good game, refs.

Football Team vs. Iggles

Aaaaaand that's 17 straight years without a repeat division champ. NFC South ain't got shit on the wild and crazy NFC East.

REAKAPS

W - 141.72 (9-6) McCorkle Ascendant

L - 130.08 (8-7) Golder 🏈 Team

Wow. 130.08 points and you happened to draw the one god damn team that scores more. Fantasy Football is such a god damn bitch goddess.

And McCorkle Ascendant had the exact player who isn't afraid to get his knuckles dirty with some girls' makeup in Tyreek Hill. Bam. No problem. 141.72 points. Win. Advance. Survive.

Attempts were made, but a shit performance from Devonta really left that Golder 🏈 Team high and dry - despite some great standouts.

Heh. Darrel Williams' 1.2 points is fuckin silly.  It's like the dude whose only contribution to the group project was helping one person find a chair to sit in.

L - 73.08 (8-7) Mighty Scarecrows

W - 77.68 (9-6) Shelbyville Shelbyvillian

Holy shit-snacks. Thank fuckin God I chose the motherfucker I did in Kirk over Tannyhill. Otherwise who knows if I would have pulled this shit out. I kinda sorta can't believe I pulled this shit out of my asshole.

Of course, next week I'm probably gonna get my god damn taint plunged so hard it'll clear my sinuses.

.. hmm. That might actually help me out at this time of year, bein all plugged up in the nasal area.

Fin.

Hope you guys are havin a great holiday, Merry Christmas Eve Eve, and like, happy tidings to all.

Best of luck with all the gift receivings, stay safe and healthy, and binge responsibly.

Take care out there.