Joe - Meet at Dan's Fantasy Football League (Page 2)

Meet at Dan's Fantasy Football League

Joe

Battle of the Rotary Fast Foods

Battle of the Rotary Fast Foods

As per usual, if you ain't interested in whatever dipshit content I happen to have vomit this week, just scroll on down to the NFL Recapulations! Growing up, there was a rotary dubbed, the Ayer Rotary. Well, it goes by a more official name as well: Frederick Carlton

It's easier not to be great

It's easier not to be great

Fuck you, Thor Let me paint the weekend picture for you: It's mid-Friday afternoon, I'm trying to wrap up a bunch of dependency updates while yelling at my computer because fuck you, the tests worked before the update so WHY DON'T THEY KNOW, as

The Armies of the Unfit

The Armies of the Unfit

Season Preview And by season preview, I'm going to dish out some of the scalding-hot takes that I've come up with stolen from the stupidest places of the internet. * Jimmy G throws for 40 touchdowns - in Madden when he gets benched for Aidan O'

Picking your friend's nose

Picking your friend's nose

Draft Pickery So until I get unbanned from Twitch due to those rather unfortunate comments I made during a live stream of my first round playoff matchup against Pharaoh last season, I'm going to have to author this Reaction Content as a column instead of as a video.

That magical moment when everyone still has hope

That magical moment when everyone still has hope

(and no - I don't care if I've used that image before, damn it) What an offseason Welp. Football is back. The Hall of Fame game has taken place - supposedly - and .. well .. I'll talk about it later. It's been what,

The year is 2512 and the country has completed the 1000th McCarthy Vote, a tradition whose origins have long since been forgotten

The year is 2512 and the country has completed the 1000th McCarthy Vote, a tradition whose origins have long since been forgotten

Holy shit, I'm a little late I BET YOU THOUGHT I FORGOT. Yeah, I don't really know what happened there .. I'm going to point to two factors in my tardiness in publishing: 1. I guess I wanted to wait and see whether or not

Hello League, I am Dennis Prager here to tell you that the smell coming from my pants is from THE LEFT, who have soiled my underwear once again

Hello League, I am Dennis Prager here to tell you that the smell coming from my pants is from THE LEFT, who have soiled my underwear once again

Food for thought Makes you think! Confused? Go ahead and read about a specific Kansas Chiefs superfan. Memes never die I don't fuckin care if the Dolphins and Bills played each other over a week ago. I'VE GOT MEMES TO SHARE. Simply the Best-a-gon Praise Hexagons,

I'm a stupid title with an ugly face and big butt and my butt smells and I like to kiss my own butt

Happy Christmas and Merry Hanukkah

I'm a stupid title with an ugly face and big butt and my butt smells and I like to kiss my own butt

WHIRLIE KERP Oh shit, argentina won. wowzers n shit. Anyway, here's a video, What? It's a video. And fuck off, I know it's been like.. a week. Shout out to Colleen Wolfe Only one without gloves! Fuckin Carolina Panthers, Jacksonville Jaguars, and what fuckin

Something something Qatari 2600

Something something Qatari 2600

What the fuck I gotta do to get fired around here? All I wanna do is get promoted to customer. For the love of fucking God. Sorry folks, but as you've probably noticed the last 3-4 weeks, my heart is absolutely not fuckin in it. Not sure what

Aaaaand USA Lost

Aaaaand USA Lost

Followed by Poland. Stupid fuckin sport. Late Let's say, hypothetically, that you were, for instance, using my keyboard. Now keep up. Let's say that you, yes you, wanted to type up one of these columns. Hypothetically, of course. Now that we have established that you want

It's not rocket appliances

It's not rocket appliances

Gobble Gobble Hey everyone! Hope y'all enjoyed the week and had a mother fuckin awesome Thanksgiving week! Despite the result of the Greatriots game, it was still such a fucking great day of football - one that I barely fucking caught because I was playing the god. Damn.

Proper Preparation Prevents Piss-Poor Performance

Proper Preparation Prevents Piss-Poor Performance

That other football I guess it's getting underway. Oh hell yeah, I'm super excited to continue feeding a monstrously evil capitalist grift of galactic proportions. Wait what is that? They just banned cheering with both hands while in stadiums? OK, as long as I can celebrate

Title for the Week 10 Power Rankings during Week 11

Title for the Week 10 Power Rankings during Week 11

Yeah yeah yeah, I know I just fucking emailed all of you earlier this week. It's just that skipping out on two straight weeks of power rankings left me in a state of near giving a shit. So with this building guilt, I set upon sculpting my content.

Say Pizza to Drugs

Say Pizza to Drugs

In College I Studied Abroad or Two Big fan of that NFL Europe thing. I loved the Amsterdam Admirals, perfect team to play against so I could earn the maximum amount of Madden Cards as I could. But I guess Germany has better singers or some shit, This is UNBELIEVABLE.

Vote or Die

Snyder selling team? I hope you read about this elsewhere because I ain't got shit for you all this week as far as extra bullshit. Which might be a godsend for some, a sad state for others. Rage Against the Machine I found these bootleg videos that I

Not garbage can't, garbage can

Happy Fuckin Halloween and All Saints Day and Dias de los Muertos! What a god damn trilogy of days. I don't think there's much of anything like it. Speaking of spectacular, check out this incredible performance, So what severity of CTE would you say this is?

Yeezy come, Yeezy go

Yeezy come, Yeezy go

It's October Luckswing Time! I hear that the month of October is supposedly the most important month of the year for Major League Baseball. Until November, at least. Why am I bringing up America's Pasttime in a column dedicated to Fantastical Football? Well. Because it'

Broncos country, let's writhe!

Broncos country, let's writhe!

Dear Mr. Snyder Sell your team, Coward! Al Michaels calls out Dan Synder to sell the team on live broadcast pic.twitter.com/zF0Ls76xi1 — Main Team (@MainTeamSports2) October 14, 2022 Source Let them fight. Davante Has Earned His Spiked Shoulderpads So like .. I shared that video in the last column,

is this thing on?

is this thing on?

Now. I have a lot of ground to cover. A honeymoon that spanned much of Europe. One that ended up with me returning home with what I hope isn't super super-Spartan strain of Covid. One that had me visiting a couple countries who have contributed so much to

Leaded Gasoline Has Destroyed This Once Great Nation

Leaded Gasoline Has Destroyed This Once Great Nation

Enemy of the State Yo. This Brett Favre thing is fucking wild. He's quite possibly the shittiest, scummiest, most disgusting thing that's ever come out of Mississippi: and that state has literal poop-coffee coming from faucets in Jackson. Before jumping into any more, here's

Welcome Guys, Gals, and Non-Binary Pals!

Welcome Guys, Gals, and Non-Binary Pals!

Read this, you coward.

Au Reservoir

Yeah. I ain't got shit for this one outside maybe a meme or two, Football happened. Actually, two weeks of football happened: week 17 and a game or two on Saturday from week 18 before I finally get this shit out. My bad. It's 2022 and

Ace is the place

Ace is the place

Madden I'll start 'er off with the Great, Bill Belichick who does an incredible job speaking about Mr. John Madden: “We all set out to try to have a good professional career, and John had about five of them.” Bill Belichick’s full remarks on John Madden.

Happiest of Holidays Everyone

Happiest of Holidays Everyone

The reporters in Foxborough All skootered and skittered 'The Grump is no more!' The reporters all Twittered. Some were not sure They seemed quite addled They still remembered "On to Seattle" To the folks in the media, A bone he had tossed, When he found out

It has begun.

Hey there everyone! I'm just dropping in to share the current Postseason Bracket for folks to print out, setup inside their fireplace, then burn it to the fucking ground - ensuring at least one full year of good fantasy luck. Enjoy! I'll be doing my best